Hearth and Heart

"Oh, it looks so homey!" I have thrilled as this exclamation has crossed the lips of one house guest after another during the past week. I expended a brain cell or two (and a calorie or two) inventing a way to make all of my books and shelves fit in one room with my dad's old record player (which I adore), a cedar chest, two rocking chairs, and all the furnishings already present in my new apartment. The kitchen provided the same sort of dilemma, but with the exercise of some creative juices -- and a couple of very amusing failed attempts -- I arrived at a pragmatic and aesthetic solution. And to have my student apartment called "homey" surpasses my wildest expectations. It is rather a nice environment to live in, too.

I suppose now would be a great time to post some pictures of said rooms, but I know better than that. You see, I'm also a fond lover of company, so if you'd really like to discover what my homey habitation looks like, you'll simply have to come visit. Isn't that just awful?


I've also taken up my work with children with autistic spectrum disorders once again, and I couldn't be happier. I talk and think and dream about those children....They've intertwined themselves inti the fabric of my existence, making it much more bright and beautiful for their presence. Days with them can be long and hard, but each one is full of moments that make all the difference, and I think maybe I only feel truly alive in their precious company. I can hardly believe I'm lucky enough to be able to work with them again!

So though my days don't go by quickly, but they move at a cadence which expresses peace and poignancy, and allows for deeper dimensions of reality to fill the senses.

Strung Out...Time for a Song!

Ughh! I'm so frustrated! (Yes, that is me venting.) For about the past year I have repeatedly attempted to get somewhere in my life...and have ended up moving 4 times, losing 2 organs, withdrawing from 1 school, and simply feeling thwarted time after time. I never run out of things I really want to do, and I love working hard, so illness is particularly difficult for me to deal with. When I got pneumonia about a week ago, it just felt like the last straw. When my body simply won't collaborate with my mind, I start feeling a little annoyed. How can I be sick again!?!?! Oh well, it won't last long.

I'll bet that in a few years I'll look back and laugh at my own impatience. I bet I'll feel grateful to have conquered this challenge and moved on to other things -- and I mean to do exactly that. And, if I was to speak truly, life is incredible! The wonder of it all fills my senses, so that I care very little if I must experience it more slowly or differently than I intended. There are joys and excellencies to be found in every condition in life. Some do provide a bit more of a chase than I'm used to, but I manage to catch at least one or two every day. Those few and frequent happinesses make the frustrations shrivel and return the song to my soul. With such pulls at my heartstrings, how can I keep from singing?

A Friend Loveth at All Times

Beauty offers healing. I've been finding instances all over of the truth of this statement, and I keep feeling the delight of how it assists my own healing while providing me with an opportunity to serve.

It all began around November, when my family decided to do a "home made Christmas" this year. I was astounded by the creativity and skill exhibited by each member of my family, and I loved exploring my own imagination through the process of loving creation. Truly, I enjoyed it so greatly that I took up even more projects after the holidays ended: crochet, embroidery, sewing, and cooking began to adorn my days. There were a few cooking exploits that have attained a particular level of fame, for those who were able to participate in their consumption...

My most favorite part of these endeavors is the design process. Each new concept is designed specifically for someone, not just ars gratis artis. As I first conceive, then carry out each idea, my eagerness to give it grows and grows. Anticipating how my gift will be received fuels my desire to finish even the most grueling tasks, and makes every moment of work precious. How glad I am to have a mama who teaches me these little skills! They provide for me some of the highest excellencies this life affords, because they enable me to share in human love.

New Definition

Looking over my shoulder, my young companion pointed out some letters she recognized on the page of my book. "LDS," she said. "What does that stand for?" I pondered for a moment, considering how malleable a child's mind is, and how I should help teach her rightly. I realized that I might be held accountable some day for my answer, so I gave my favorite: "Laugh Dance Sing!" She seemed delighted, and skipped around the room before heading to the kitchen for a delicious PBJ.

Nearly six years ago, at the dawn of this darling's life, I relinquished a long cultivated dream in favor of another one. I have been very satisfied in my choice, and even put my first dream so far from my mind that I hardly remembered it. I recently fulfilled my replacement dream, and planned a new vision for my life. My new path held exciting prospects for me, but I haven't been anxious to begin it. Then, a miracle happened! My heart's first dream returned, full of possibilities for its realization.

Suddenly, my heart seemed to sprout wings, and the joy of it bubbled up in giggley-giddishness. I danced around our front room, danced down the stairs, danced in my bedroom -- I even danced at the grocery store, simply because I couldn't help myself. Music has voiced my soul in kaleidoscopes of precious moments. As my fingers crawled over piano keys and pressed violin strings, I freed the melodies rejoicing within me; and I've scarcely ceased singing from that moment to this. It's been like finding myself after a long absence, and all the barriers to my inner smile had vanished in bursts of colored light and vibrant energy.

So, although "LDS" may possess other meanings, the bestest one is the giver of happyful gifts. I'm delighted to be able to laugh, dance and sing my way home each day in this crazy journey called life. Now, how about a PBJ?

The Finer Things in Life

My soul floats on the melodies brought into my consciousness by the resounding testimony of my dad's voice. Inspired to fly, I take up my own wings of song, and slip away into the felicity of singing.

The vistas within this sphere are unparalleled, and each new tune unfolds new scenes. For hours I wander, visiting rugged peaks, familiar fields, and living streams. Thick textures of darkness define deep chasms, isolated in their secretive gift to the world. Then mounting up, I ascend to embrace the sun, and my heart is pierced by shafts of brilliant glory.

I am overcome by the beauty. I wonder, how is it that I am invited to share in it? Such divinity is not designed for mere mortal souls. But I am no casual wanderer; I was created for such heights as these.

One Stitch At A Time...

When I was 16, my mom pieced this quilt top for me. I was so inspired, I decided I would hand stitch the entire quilt -- with a daisy pattern no less. I had no idea what scale of a project I'd begun. Six years later, I have actually finished it! When I finally decided to take it a little at a time rather than trying to finish a major portion in a single sitting, I started really making headway. In fact, over half was sewn in the past 6 months!
Here's a close-up of the pattern I stitched on each square. I am so glad now that I stuck with it. I have helped create a piece of timeless beauty, and I hope to have it for decades -- or even better -- generations.
Somehow it makes me feel like more of myself to participate in creating something that may outlast me...and it's only the beginning.